Vaccines Are So Gay

Mike: Remember how we were discussing if you possibly rank on the autism scale?

Mike: Turns out, you do! "(Homosexuality) is a microform of autism."

 

George: Ah ha ha. Fabmelous.
George: There’s no way that could possibly be inaccurate.
George: You know, since vaccines have been happening long enough that we would have already seen a significant increase in hot man-on-man action.

 

Mike: Well, yeah. It's a fucking ridiculous claim, even more so than the supposed link between vaccines and any kind of autism (much less a made-up kind).

 

George: Oh, hokey science. Will you never cease to come through for me?

 

Mike: The (god-awful, ridiculous, should die-in-a-fire) Huffington Post has the original article. Nowhere in it it explained what kind of scientist this mook is, only that he is a "scientist, journalist, and opponent of vaccinations" who is "a proponent of alternative medicine."
Mike: I think we can safely ignore this whackjob.
Mike: Still, congratulations on your autism!

 

George: Thanks!
George: I'll celebrate by sticking something long and sharp through my eye.

 

Mike: Squinckt!

 

George: Excellent callback.

 

Mike: I'm sure you can find a more comfortable place to stick something long, anyway.

 

George: It might be more comfortable, but only because it’d be like throwing a hotdog down a hallway at this point.

 

Mike: You mean like throwing a toothpick down a volcano?

 

George: Sort of, in that you’re likely to just lose the whole ensemble in there.
George: More like thrusting a dagger into a greatsword scabbard.

 

Mike: Oh, like throwing the One Ring into the Fires of Mordor.

 

George: You’re focused on girth.
George: Focus on length.
George: To put it in terms you’d understand – it’s like the length of Creationist history compared to actual history.

 

Mike: I see – insignificant, like a speck of dust in the vastness of space.

 

George: Like tossing a brine shrimp into the Strait of Gibraltar.

 

Mike: Like a motorcycle in a train tunnel.

 

George: Closer.

 

Mike: Like an ant in a train tunnel?

 

George: Aaaannnnd we’re out of time.

 

About DemetriusOfPharos

Ten things about me: 1) I get bored easily.
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