Annoying Mid-Season Quirky Character

Mike: So, George. Wiggles was telling me he is interested in meeting other plants. He specifically mentioned someone's begonia.

George: You had a conversation with Wiggles?

Mike: Indeed.

George: Wiggles is a plant, Mike.

Mike: Yes. I was conducting an interview for Plants and Offices Quarterly, and he brought up wanting to meet other plants. Here, take a look:


Mike: Wiggles, thanks for joining me today to answer some questions.

Wiggles: Hello!
Wiggles: Hey, what is it like outside of Owner's office?

Mike: I'm not going to lie, Wiggles – it's spectacular. The planet is 70% water, and the sun shines pretty much all of the time.

Wiggles: 70% water?
Wiggles: Why isn't Owner wet when he walks in?

Mike: He lives on land.
Mike: I should let you know that typically at an interview, the interviewer asks the questions.

Wiggles: Oh..!

Mike: You’ve brought up Owner. Can you tell us more about Owner?

Wiggles: Owner walks on his roots! He brings water!

Mike: Sort of a life giver, then.

Wiggles: He only talks to me when there aren’t any other walkers around, and he mostly sings.

Mike: That’s hilariously interesting.
Mike: Is Owner always with you?

Wiggles: No. Not even most of the time!
Wiggles: The light comes back, and some Owner-like walkers move around, and then Owner comes in later.
Wiggles: Sometimes he waters me.
Wiggles: Then Owner leaves, and then all the other walkers leave, and then the light goes away, and then later, it comes back again.

Mike: Is it always the same type of water?
Mike: Does he sometimes use tap, then sometimes bottled?

Wiggles: Owner talked about that once.
Wiggles: He was singing about tap water being bad, so he has to let it sit over something he called a whee ken.
Wiggles: All the bad stuff floats right out of it! Do you think it's ghosts?

Mike: …Maybe.
Mike: Have you ever been outside Owner's office?

Wiggles: Not for as long as I can remember.
Wiggles: When I was a sprout, I was too small to see over the edge of my pot. So, maybe then.

Mike: Does it ever get lonely?

Wiggles: Sometimes, when the light goes away for a really long time.
Wiggles: It's usually right before those people and Owner talk about the whee ken.
Wiggles: Rocky is here to keep me company, but he’s kind of quiet.
Wiggles: Someone who wasn't Owner was in here once, and talked about a begonia.
Wiggles: I hope Owner introduces us.

Mike: Perhaps I'll pass the word along.
Mike: You keep mentioning "whee ken" – I think they are talking about the weekend.
Mike: Do you know about weekends?

Wiggles: 'Weekends'? No.
Wiggles: Does a 'weekend' make the light go away for a long time?
Wiggles: Does it take ghosts out of water?

Mike: No, not generally.
Mike: It is typically just a couple of days that humans – that's what ‘walkers’ like Owner and I are called – take days off work and relax.
Mike: We turn the lights off when we leave our offices though.

Wiggles: You have power over light?!

Mike: Only a little.
Mike: Tell me more about Rocky.
Mike: Is he like Owner, or is he something else?

Wiggles: Oh, he's something else!
Wiggles: Here is a picture I keep of him. Not at all like Owner, you see:


Mike: Uh… wow.
Mike: Rocky looks like a solid guy. Very magna-ficent!

Wiggles: We only recently met.

Mike: Is he sometimes a little stony?

Wiggles: Once in a while.
Wiggles: We’re still working out our boundaries.

Mike: Only time shale tell if things work out.

Wiggles: Right!

Mike: You wouldn’t want to take anything for granite.
Mike: It might prematurely erode the friendship.

Wiggles: It sounds like you know how it goes.

Mike: Indeed.
Mike: At any rate, he sounds like a real gem!

Wiggles: I concur!

Mike: Well, that rocks.
Mike: It's been nice chatting with you, Wiggles.
Mike: I'll be sure to pass along that you want to meet that begonia.

Wiggles: Why, thank you, Mike!
Wiggles: It has been a pleasure meeting you.


George: You are a strange, strange smurf.

Mike: You're the one with a talking plant.

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