George: Which one's hotter? Thor or Captain America?
Mike: Black Widow. But I guess, objectively, Thor.
George: What? But Captain America is so boy-next-door!
Mike: I never much cared for Captain America – although he did have a reputation for doing what was right and sometimes that meant defying orders, he was a little too clean-cut for me. No edge, no substance, just "following orders" most of the time.
George: That's probably true to some degree.
Mike: So's your face.
George: Actually, I don't think there are untrue portions of my face.
Mike: Oh, so you have perfect eyesight and never wear glasses?
George: I'm not sure what glasses have to do with my face, other than that they rest on it.
Mike: The glasses are an untrue portion of your face.
George: They're not a portion of my face at all.
George: They're an accessory.
George: That's like saying a monitor is an untrue portion of the video card.
Mike: An accessory to an untrue portion of your face.
George: In what manner?
Mike: In that the glasses are a lie.
George: How are the glasses a lie?
George: I'm not sure there's a single person out there who would mistake them as part of my face, nor am I portraying them as such.
George: My glasses won't tolerate your slanderous ways.
Mike: They make you see things you otherwise wouldn't. How do you know those things really exist? Your glasses lie to you.
George: Glasses simply refract light. Your eyes are what are lying to you.
George: They're not picking up UV or IR light and relaying it to your brain, for example.
Mike: Aha, so you admit that a portion of your face is untrue!
George: Nope. They're lying, but that doesn't make them not true.
George: Just assholes.
George: So to sum this up: everyone has assholes for eyes.
Mike: You make a compelling argument.
Mike: FOR ME TO POOP ON! </triumph>