Not Recommended for Public Consumption

Mike: MooCow is a drug against WAR!

George: MooCow tries to make every day feel a little more surreal.

Mike: Ask not for who the Cow Moos – it Moos for thee…

George: MooCow – got milked?

Mike: How many licks does it take to get to the creamy center of a MooCow?

George: MooCow is not for everyone. Clinical tests show that MooCow may cause nausea, fatigue, and kidney or liver problems. Ask your doctor if MooCow is right for you.

Mike: Four out of five dentists recommend MooCow along with brushing.

George: Warning: Keep out of reach of children. Contents harmful or fatal if swallowed. If contents come in contact with eyes, flush thoroughly with water and immediately contact a physician. MooCow is not intended to treat or cure any condition.

Mike: That’s not at all an innuendo.

George: Not in the slightest.

Mike: The FDA has not approved MooCow for public consumption.

George: Common side effects may include, but are not limited to:
- Dry mouth
- Ejaculation problems
- Constipation
- Diarrhea
- Breathing problems
- Muscle weakness
- Bruising
- Dizziness
- Spasms of the voicebox
- Accidental injury
- Increased sex drive
- Fainting / loss of consciousness
- Sleep disturbances
- Protruding eye
- Blood in the stool
- Coma
- Death

Mike: So, you are saying MooCow is exactly like swallowing small amounts of saliva over long periods of time?  

George: Exactly like that.

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3 Responses to Not Recommended for Public Consumption

  1. Sam says:

    M-m-m-moo ows
    M- m-m-make milk
    It's the o-only thing that we adore…
    When the m-m-m-moon shines
    over the cowshed
    we hope that they are making plenty more!!! 

  2. Sam says:

    oops spaces wrong again!

  3. I tried to update it for clarity, let me know if you want it changed.