Mike: MooCow is a drug against WAR!
George: MooCow tries to make every day feel a little more surreal.
Mike: Ask not for who the Cow Moos – it Moos for thee…
George: MooCow – got milked?
Mike: How many licks does it take to get to the creamy center of a MooCow?
George: MooCow is not for everyone. Clinical tests show that MooCow may cause nausea, fatigue, and kidney or liver problems. Ask your doctor if MooCow is right for you.
Mike: Four out of five dentists recommend MooCow along with brushing.
George: Warning: Keep out of reach of children. Contents harmful or fatal if swallowed. If contents come in contact with eyes, flush thoroughly with water and immediately contact a physician. MooCow is not intended to treat or cure any condition.
Mike: That’s not at all an innuendo.
George: Not in the slightest.
Mike: The FDA has not approved MooCow for public consumption.
George: Common side effects may include, but are not limited to:
- Dry mouth
- Ejaculation problems
- Breathing problems
- Muscle weakness
- Spasms of the voicebox
- Accidental injury
- Increased sex drive
- Fainting / loss of consciousness
- Sleep disturbances
- Protruding eye
- Blood in the stool
Mike: So, you are saying MooCow is exactly like swallowing small amounts of saliva over long periods of time?
George: Exactly like that.